"THE EDWARD AND EDWARD (FURLONG AND NORTON) VIDEO FESTIVAL" REVIEWS
Bonus review: EdTV
Trying to escape the horrors of dealing with the evil and corrupt Yahoos, we decided to catch up on our film reviews by
watching the evil and corrupt people Edward Norton and Edward Furlong resist (or portray!) in some of the movies which they have done over the last few years. All of these films are available on videotape and/or DVD; some of them are still showing in theaters in different parts of the world.
- American History X: a gritty film starring both Edwards, with Norton as Furlong's neo-Nazi elder brother, who goes just one step too far in defending his family and property and pays for it with a prison sentence. While imprisoned, his younger brother falls in with the same crowd of neo-Nazi hooligans, and upon his release, the elder brother must demonstrate that real heroism does not consist in violently attacking anyone different, but in working together for the common good -- which transforms him from a "race hero" to a "nigger lover" in the eyes of his supposed friends, and his brother. For those of you who regularly visit this site, Chris Masterson plays the boy who is beaten in the restroom at the beginning of the film. The ending of American History X is very grim, but it teaches a lot of valuable lessons. Despite the ignorant and uninformed comments of those who have oviously not seen this movie, it neither glorifies racism or violence, but, rather, shows down what painful roads they lead. Edward Norton deserved his Oscar® nomination for this movie, and we suspect that it was a lot of behind-the-scenes string-pulling which kept him from serious contention. An 8 Star Movie; go see it.
- Everyone Says I Love You: Edward Norton stars in this film with a large ensemble cast of major stars, young and old. He plays a would-be bride-groom confronted with his fiance's . . . strange . . . family and with typical pre-wedding troubles. Directed by Woody Allen, the movie is -- amazingly -- a musical(!) and all of the stars sing their own parts, allegedly much to the chagrin of many of them, who had not been told during the audition process that the film was a musical. It is worth seeing and our On-Line reviewer gives it 7 Stars; go see it.
- Pecker: directed by John Waters, but not as bizarre as one might expect. Furlong plays "Pecker" (and no, you foul-minded readers, his nickname does not refer to that), an amateur photographer who displays his works in the diner where he works and in the laundry run by his girlfriend (Christina Ricci). Quite by accident, a prominent New York Gallery owner "discovers" Pecker's work and launches him on the road to instant fame and fortune -- and the complete loss of respect of his family and friends, whose lives are all thoroughly disrupted by Pecker's fame. Alternately romantic, funny, satiric, and painfully true-to-life, our On-Line Reviewer calls this a 7 Star Movie; go see it.
- Primal Fear: Edward Norton's first film, in which he portrays a choirboy accused of hideously murdering a Roman Catholic Archbishop with enormous political influence. Richard Gere plays a hot-shot defense attorney who takes on the case at no charge just for the sake of the publicity it will bring him, and then uncovers layer upon slimy layer of secrets surrounding the murder, and strong evidence that points to his client being "Not Guilty." This is Edward Norton's movie, beyond a doubt; it simply would not work without him; good as Cuba Gooding, Jr. was in Jerry Maguire, another actor could have filled his shoes and made that film work; Primal Fear hangs entirely on Norton's performance, so our On-Line reviewer says that he was robbed when he did not receive his Best Supporting Actor Oscar®. An 8 Star Movie; go see it. (In fact, it is the leads who are the weak links in this film -- if their performances were the equal of Edward Norton's, this could have easily gone down as one of the great movies in cinematic history.)
- Rounders: Matt Damon with Edward Norton, the first playing a "reformed" card sharp, and Norton playing one freshly released from prison, sharper than ever, determined to rebuild his life by making some quick money playing in poker games, legal and illegal. The complication: someone bought up a debt that he rang up before he was imprisoned and wants his money now -- with interest. Damon's character foolishly promises to make good on his friend's debt, and things rapidly spiral out of control as the race to get the money becomes an issue of life and death, not just for Norton, but for Damon, too. John Malkovich (who currently stars in Being John Malkovich is memorably creepy as a Russian crime lord. Our On-Line Reviewer calls this a 7 Star Movie; go see it.
This by no means constitutes a definitve "filmography" for either actor, but only reflects what we have seen recently. Thus, no reviews for Edward Furlong's Little Odessa (a good movie, worth renting), A Home of Our Own (also worth renting), Pet Cemetary 2 (which Furlong probably wishes would be buried, although he does have some good scenes in it), or Eddie's screen debut . . . Terminator 2 (which our On-Line Reviewer has seen at least three times, making it one of the very few exceptions to the rule that he hates big-budget action/science fiction movies).
Special Bonus: EdTV
Okay, so it doesn't star either Norton or Furlong, but we have had so many delays in putting up this page that we are throwing in EdTV as a freebie since Matthew McConaughey is currently (Armistice Day) in England.
Unlike The Truman Show, Ed knows that he is being broadcast on television 24 hours a day, seven days a week -- for good money, and his family and friends have all signed waivers permitting themselves to be telecast, too. When the stress of being constantly in the public eye proves too much for Ed (newspapers, for example, run front page polls as to whether or not he should break up with his girlfriend!), Ed tries to back out of his contract, only to discover that the evil network executives (are there any other kind?!) have "optioned" him and can continue to broadcast him whether he likes it or not, and they can follow his family and friends around if the ratings show that viewers like those "storylines." As in Pecker, publicity, fame and fortune prove a curse to Ed, and he tries everything he can think of to get free of the ever-pursuing television crews. Our On-Line Reviewer calls this a 7 Star Movie; go see it.
With the rise in theater ticket prices and the growing international audience of our page, our old NW2: Not Worth $2 to W8: Worth $8 rating scale has become less useful than previously, so, in line with the scale used by the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) we have adopted a scale of 1 star to 10 stars, with "1 Star" being a VERY bad movie, and "10 Stars" being a movie classic. Our On-Line Reviewer, however, has gone where IMDb has never gone before: he has added a score of Zero for those movies which are so bad that they are not even good "camp" -- movies so bad that not even "Mystery Science Theater 3000" could could make them worth watching.
On this scale, anything rated "7 Stars" or above is worth the cost of a theater ticket, "8 Stars" is worth standing in line to buy a ticket, "9 Stars" is worth standing in line in a driving rain rainstorm of killer heatwave to buy a ticket, and "10 Stars" is a movie worth driving hundreds of miles to go see -- at least in Dr. Shea's own opinion.
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