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WELCOME TO THE JAUNDICED EYE'S REVIEW PAGE!

SINCE 1980.

IN EXILE SINCE JULY, 1999





UPDATED 22 OCTOBER 2001



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22 OCTOBER 2001: AMERICANS (AND CANADIANS) -- PLEASE READ:

The United States Congress is CURRENTLY (as in today and for the next several weeks)considering "Anti-Terrorist Legislation" which would have a serious and extremely negative impact on the use of the Internet, e-mail, telephone service, and other means of telecommunication, and the Department of Justice is actually in a position to begin considering the users of music download services and users of "open source code" of DVDs as terrorists.. We strongly urge ALL of our visitors, but U.S. citizens and resident aliens especially, to click on the Blue Ribbon icon under the "Last Updated" line above, visit the Electronic Frontiers Foundation site and find out what you can do to (1) protect your on-line privacy, and (2) fight legislation which would curtail our free speech.

Of course, if you think that logging onto another person's computer to download music should land a person in prison, then please don't bother. If you can't tell the difference between MP3, a DVD, or a Stinger missile, though, there is good news for you: several U.S. Government agencies have job openings now and they are offering high salaries, good benefits and lifetime job security to people who are willing to give up the U.S. Constitution rather than defend it. After all, the only thing that separates Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and their worshippers in Washington from the Taliban is that the Taliban have no clothing sense.

CANADIANS: your government is ALSO currently considering legislation which would strip away your Internet privacy and intrude upon your use of telecommunications devices. Please click on the Blue Ribbon and find out the latest news from the Electronic Frontiers Foundation.



THIS IS PAGE TWO OF THE OFFICIAL MIRRORED HOME PAGE OF JAUNDICED EYE PRODUCTIONS AND OF HIS NIBS, THE GRAND PANJANDRUM, IN EXILE AT TRIPOD.

Locked out of GeoCities by evil, greedy Yahoo!kazas, we still invite you to drink from the wellspring of the Muse With the Jaundiced Eye and imbibe the sweet wisdom of the Grand Panjandrum's pontifications on a variety of subjects, not the least being mass entertainment. To which are added several photos and drawings, ALL OF WHICH are copyrighted, so don't download them without OUR permission.



SavvySearch!





CLICK HERE FOR INDEX PAGE 1, WITH ENTERTAINMENT NEWS AND FAN PAGE LINKS.







AVAILABLE NOW: A REVIEW OF

MATTHEW BOURNE'S "THE CAR MAN"

You can meet the most unexpected people at the ballet, even -- would you believe it? -- those stars of "Breaker High," Tyler "Dead Last" Labine, Scott "Boston Public" Vickaryous, and Ryan "Young Hercules" Gosling. 'Tis true, gentle readers, true -- the three young hotties who set the hearts of the girls afire wherever they are syndicated are all fans of the performing arts. Of course, anything by Matthew Bourne can't really be considered "a ballet," can it? Especially one based on "The Postman Always Rings Twice," set to the music of Bizet, and located at a garage and diner in "Harmony, USA," right? Right? . . . Yeah, right.



We bring up the presence of these young heart-throbs not only to tantalize our readers with hints of what they might be missing if they miss seeing "The Car Man" in Los Angeles, but also to suggest that the production is really quite excellent, and the atrocities of September 11th did not interfere with the quality of the production.





Unfortunately, however, the recent killing of more people than were killed at Pearl Harbor and in the sinking of R.M.S. Lusitania combined has shaken up some of us a bit, and if your browser doesn't give you a complete review of "The Car Man," rest assured, it was turned in promptly, and just as promptly mangled, either by one of us or by the heavy Internet usage following the sub-human acts of Osama bin Laden's terrorist vermin. That is why we posted our pix of "The Car Man" here -- we daren't interfere with what is currently posted on the review page lest we delete the entire review. (As of 22 October, the review seems to have been restored and is available in full, but without further checking we cannot guarantee that it will work on all browsers.) We hope that The Centre Theatre Group, the photographers, and the performers will forgive us if we omit the credits for which we are usually such sticklers. Current events have left us feeling just as trapped as . . . well, see "The Car Man" and see for yourself what we mean:





Available now:



ON-LINE REVIEW: VAMPIRE HUNTER D: BLOODLUST





MULHOLLAND DRIVE
Not exactly your usual On-Line Review. . . .


ON-LINE REVIEW: JURASSIC PARK III


Sam Neill returns as Dr. Alan Grant to battle terrible dinosaurs and an even more terrible script.
(c) 2001 by Universal Studios. All rights reserved.


ON-LINE REVIEW: THE MUMMY RETURNS


Brendan Fraser returns to battle not only The Mummy, but . . . worse dangers.
(c) 2001 by Universal Studios. All rights reserved.


ON-LINE REVIEW: THE PAVILION OF WOMEN


Willem Dafoe and Luo Yan star in The Pavilion of Women, based upon the Pearl S. Buck novel.
(c) 2001 by Universal Studios. All rights reserved.


ON-LINE REVIEW: THE INNOCENTS MISSION


Phillip Van Dyke stars in The Innocents Mission.


ON-LINE REVIEW: DR. SEUSS' HOW THE GRINCH(tm) STOLE CHRISTMAS


Cindy Lou Who (Taylor Momsen) engages the Grinch(tm) (Jim Carrrey) in dialogue about Christmas.
(c) 2000 by Universal Studios. All rights reserved.
"Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas," "The Grinch, " and Dr. Seuss characters all (tm) and (c) Dr. Seuss Enterprises, L.P.


NEW ON-LINE REVIEW!


Jamie Bell (center) stars in Billy Elliot, which our On-Line Reviewer calls an Oscar (r) contender.
(c) 2000 by Tiger Aspect Pictures.


Available now:



ON-LINE REVIEWS!


David Hyde-Pierce, Amanda Peet, John Cleese, Bette Midler, and Nathan Lane in Isn't She Great, which definitely is!




Jodie Foster plays Anna Leonowens and Tom Felton plays her son, Louis, in Anna and the King.
(c) 1999 by Fox Entetainment and its related companies. All rights reserved.


An On-Line Review of Anna and the King, starring Jodie Foster and Chow Yun Fat.



Gwyneth Paltrow and Jude Law are stalked by Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley


An On-Line Review of Golden Globe winner The Talented Mr. Ripley, starring Matt Damon, Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow.



An On-Line Review of East-West, starring Hillaire Bonnaire and Catherine Deneuve!



An On-Line Review of Golden Globe winner All About My Mother, from Aldomovar!



Gong Li plays the beloved Lady Zhao in The Emperor and the Assassin.
(c) 1999 by Sony Classics Pictures. All rights reserved.


An On-Line Review of The Emperor and the Assassin, starring Gong Li!




The Patron: Countess La Grange (former Oscar(r) winner Vanessa Redgrave) wants the show to go on in The Cradle Will Rock.


An On-Line Review of Cradle Will Rock, starring most of the actors in Hollywood!




Former Oscar(r) nominee Sigourney Weaver co-stars in Galaxy Quest
(c) 1999 by DreamWorks SKG. All rights reserved.

An On-Line Review of Galaxy Quest, starring Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver!

(We're re-arranging and updating the film summaries, so not everything is currently available. Sorry, but -- thank Yahoo!)




OKAY, YOU PEOPLE! We know many of you are coming here to ogle

Ryan Phillippe half-naked,



and then pass by everything else here, so be advised: our link to Ryan and his sexy Bruce Weber photograph (thank you, Interview!) is still trapped in the Geo-Gulags and has not been fully mirrored here yet. The most important recent news about Ryan is that his wife, actress Reese Witherspoon, had a baby girl, who has been named Ava Elizabeth, according to our source. If you go to the old Ryan page, remember to bookmark THIS page and use your browser's "Back" button to escape from the Geo-Gulags. To keep you occupied while we are busy freeing our trapped Ryan material, here are some film reviews, including one for Ryan's film, 54. Soon, we shall finally be able to present an On-Line Review of the "Director's Cut" of 54, from which many of Ryan's scenes were cut, especially those with his pal Breckin Meyer and with Dogma star Salma Hayek.


QUICK OPINIONS ON 1999 and 2000 FILMS:


On-Line Reviews for movies in current or recent release have been trapped in the Geo-Gulags and will be posted or re-posted as time permits.

For our 1997 "quick opinions," please click here for our Film Opinions page. Click HERE for reviews of selected 1998 films, most of which are now available on videotape or DVD.





On 16 July 1997: someone finally put in a request for Wild America info; we contacted Warner Brothers and received . . . nothing. In the meantime, thanks to our correspondents at Y.M.S., we can help you find some info on Devon Sawa, Scott Bairstow, and J.T.T.

13 August 1997: what you see here is all we could get.

Okay, so it's Devon in "Lonesome Dove." At least we tried! (Besides, you can see him in his boxers in Idle Hands, anyway.)




Pinch "Pink" for a link to Dazed and Confused links.
Dazed and Confused. You know: Jason London, Wiley Wiggins, Ben Affleck, Esteban Louis Powell, Cole Hauser, Marissa Ribisi, Rene Zelwegger, Matthew McCona-who . . . that film.


Boycott Wendy's.





Thanks to Columbia Tristar (the same people who wouldn't send us a press kit for I Know What You Did Last Summer), we have pictures from Starship Troopers! See Film Opinions for a link to a quickie review.

(c) 1997 by TriStar Pictures. All rights reserved.







WE'RE UP THERE!

We've mentioned previously that we have an international audience. Now EuroSeek(tm) has made it official. After obeing listed with Euroseek(tm) since 10 April 1999, we have received more than 210,000 "hits," so that . . .

ON THE LATEST LIST OF ALL EUROSEEK(tm) COOLSITES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, WE ARE THE 32nd MOST POPULAR!

"32nd? What happened to 20th?"

Euroseek(tm) is in the process of changing their software (which will enable people to pass freely from our GeoCities pages (currently being held hostage by the evil Yahoos) to our new site here on Tripod. As their upgrading proceeds, the CoolSites counter may not always be visible on this page, but, Euroseek(tm) has consolidated the various classes of web pages and . . . OURS IS THE 29th MOST POPULAR EUROSEEK(tm) COOLSITES PAGE -- OF ALL TYPES -- IN THE WORLD! As mentioned elsewhere on our site, we now have visitors from at least 33 countries, and about 16% of our visitors return at least four times.

We confidently assert that our web site is most definitely and emphatically "a work of recognized stature" under Title 17 of the United States Code!



You are supplicant number:

to visit our main page since 12 APRIL, 1999, e.v.

plus

16,000 (!)

others since 22 March, 1997, e.v.

As of May 24th, 2001, we have about

1533

frequently repeating supplicants! Thank you!

And now that we know how many of you there are . . . PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!



HOW INTERNATIONAL ARE WE, NOW? VERY!

To be honest, we don't know how many countries from which we have received visitors. Many computer systems and Internet Service Providers are not recognized by geographic location by the software which we use for counting visitors, but, we have confirmed visits from the following countries: Argentina, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Canada, Croatia, Cuba, Finland, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Ireland, Italy, Japan, the Republic of Korea, Latvia, Malaysia, Mexico, Morocco, the Netherlands, Norway, the Philippines, the Russian Federation, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, the United Arab Emirates, the United Kingdom, the United States (obviously!), and several other countries! We are gaining approximately one new reader somewhere in the world every single day!

We've also had recent visits from U.S. military computers, an unidentified U.S. government computer, and an "Old-style ARPANET" system. The U.S. Government is obviously targeting obital mind control lasers at us -- there can be no other possible explanation, or, as the saying goes, "It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you!"





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The only good censor is a DEAD censor. We urge all censors to be good. Q.E.D.


(c) 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2001 by Jaundiced Eye Productions

For a detailed clarification of our copyrights under Title 17 of the United States Code and under the Berne Convention and all national laws giving effect thereto, please click here for an important Legal Notice.





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